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404 - Someone who's clueless. >From the World Wide Web error message "404-URL Not Found," meaning that the requested web page could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him... he's 404, man." Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss. Adminisphere - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. Alpha
Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an
office or work group. Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible. Body
Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on
anyone who doesn't work out obsessively. Chainsaw
Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head
count, leaving the brass with clean hands. Career Limiting Move (CLM) - Used among microserfs (Microsoft Employees) to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM. Cube
Farm - An office filled with cubicles. Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon. G.O.O.D. Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again. Generica
- Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter
where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. Used as
in: "We were so lost in Generica that I forgot what city we were
in." Idea
Hamsters - People who always seem to have their idea generators
running. Irritainment
- Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find
yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime
example. Mouse
Potato - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato. OhNo-Second - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. Prairie Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. Percussive
Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic
device to get it to work again. SITCOMs
- What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops
working to stay home with the kids. Stands for "Single Income, Two
Children, And Oppressive Mortgage". Starter
Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no
kids, no property and no regrets. Stress
Puppy - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. Swiped Out - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless becauseThe magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use. Seagull
Manager - A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over
everything, and then leaves. Salmon Day - The
experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed
and die in the end.
Um-friend - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Dylan, my ... um...friend." Yuppie
Food Stamps - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere.
Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We owe $8
each, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps." |